Part 2 — What Ben Had Been Hiding
“He’s upstairs.”
“Why?”
Arnold hesitated.
“Because he asked us not to contact you.”
I felt as though someone had slapped me.
“Not to contact me?”
He nodded slowly.
“He specifically told us that if you came looking for him, we should—”
He stopped.
“Should what?”
“Give him time.”
I laughed.
It was an ugly, humorless sound.
“Give him time?”
I looked down at the lunch bag in my hand.
The apple pie suddenly seemed ridiculous.
I had spent twenty minutes slicing the apples exactly the way he liked them. I had rewritten my little note twice because the first version sounded too serious.
Now I was standing in the hospital while my husband was apparently hiding from me.
“Arnold,” I whispered, “what is happening?”
His eyes filled again.
“I wish I could tell you.”
“You can.”
“No. I can’t.”
“Why?”
“Because Ben made me promise.”
I stared at him.
“Promise what?”
Arnold looked down the corridor.
Then he lowered his voice.
“That if you came here, I wasn’t supposed to tell you until he was ready.”
“Ready for what?”
Arnold didn’t answer.
And that was when I saw something in his hand.
A small white envelope.
My name was written across the front.
My stomach dropped.
“Is that for me?”
Arnold closed his fingers around it.
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t you give it to me?”
“Because I wasn’t sure I should.”
I held out my hand.
“Give it to me.”
He hesitated.
Then he placed the envelope in my palm.
My fingers were trembling.
I recognized Ben’s handwriting immediately.
I turned the envelope over.
There was no stamp.
No date.
Just three words written on the back.
Please forgive me.
I looked at Arnold.
“What did he do?”
“Nothing.”
“Then why does he need forgiveness?”
Arnold’s face crumpled.
“I don’t know how to say this.”
“Try.”
He took a breath.
“Ben has been coming here after his shifts.”
“I know. He works here.”
“No.”
Arnold shook his head.
“I mean after everyone thinks he’s gone home.”
My mouth went dry.
“How long?”
“Almost a year.”
A year.
The same amount of time Ben had been changing.
The same year he had missed our anniversary.
The same year he had started coming home after midnight.
The same year I had begun wondering whether he still loved me.
“What has he been doing?”
Arnold looked toward the elevators.
“He’s been helping with patients nobody else wants.”
“That doesn’t explain anything.”
“I know.”
“Then explain it.”
Arnold’s eyes lowered.
“He’s been treating them for free.”
I blinked.
“What?”
“People without insurance. People who can’t pay. People who have been turned away by other hospitals.”
I stared at him.
“That sounds like something Ben would do.”
“It is.”
